Now that we've established my absolute willingness to whore myself in any way possible in order to make a connection with this month's theme, let's go BACK and revisit some classic movies and see how they've aged.
And by "classic" I mean "stuff from when I was a kid". Except for the ones I saw as an adult. I guess "classic" just means "made before the year 2000".

(Note: I downloaded every one of these movies through Bit Torrent (See page 16 for details!) so you should have no trouble getting any of them.)

Lost Boys (1987)
Listen to the names of the cast for this one: Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Keifer Sutherland. Okay, now go wash the 80s off of you. I mean, damn, there are two Goonies in there for crying out loud! This movie is absolutely dripping with the 80s. The soundtrack alone will give you an intense desire to buy a lot of hairspray. This is not to say it's bad. There's some reasonably cool vampire stuff in here. It's definitely fun to see Bill of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure take a stake through the heart. And while the movie gets a little confused when it tries to switch from comedy to horror and back again (and again, and again), it's actually held up better than a lot of monster movies.
Final verdict: Worth revisiting, if you're a fan of vampires and aren't afraid of revisiting the 80s full-force.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Dark Horse Comics recently started a new Conan comic book that takes the character back to his origins by recreating the original Robert E. Howard stories. Having been a fan of it for about a year, I decided I wanted to rewatch the Schwarzenegger Conan movies that I loved so much as a little boy, beginning with the classic Conan the Barbarian. Man, what a piece of crap. It starts by reducing most of his life to simply pushing a grist mill. Somehow this tedious action turns him into a super-buff and extremely well toned man, who also knows how to sword fight better than anyone. Huh? Then, it's simply downhill from there. You may get a moment of excitement when you find out James Earl Jones is playing the villain, but the movie will be putting you back to sleep momentarily. It's almost unbelievable how boring this mo... *snore*
Final verdict: Stay away!

Conan the Destroyer (1984)
After seeing how bad the first one truly was, I'm not even sure what convinced me to sit through the sequel. Especially since it is commonly accepted that Destroyer is nowhere near as good as Barbarian. Good lord, how is that possible? Well, I'm glad I did watch it because the common knowledge in this case is bollocks. Destroyer is much faster paced than the original, and also takes itself a bit less serious (which helps, believe me). The addition of a posse for Conan actually works, and one of them is Grace Jones! How weird is that? Basically, the second movie just speeds things along nicely and gives you the cheesy sword and sorcery movie you're looking for.
Final verdict: Worth revisiting if you're into the fantasy stuff and don't mind starting with a sequel.

The Breakfast Club (1985)
John Huston really knew how to make 80's teen angst seem really interesting. And that's a good thing because otherwise setting an entire movie in a library and having the plot simply be "kids from different cliques get to know each other a little better" would have been a snoozefest. But the actors are pretty strong (not surprising since they were the Brat Pack and all went on to successful careers) and the writing isn't too ridiculous. Some scenes are awfully hard to swallow, but overall it's a pretty good movie. And although the ending seems really trite with everyone becoming good friends, take a closer look. Which girl does the nerd end up with?
Final verdict: Worth revisiting, if for no other reason than to get all of the references that are made to this movie. "You want another one?" "Yeah!"

48 Hours (1982)
Nick Nolte as a hard-boiled cop. Eddie Murphy in his debut role as a prisoner. They don't like each other, but they've got to work together. What could possibly stop this from being a great movie? Well, for starters you could not make it a comedy! Yeah, that would screw it up for sure. Then you could have some really, reeaally fake fight scenes, a lot of gratuitous breast shots, a few boring car chases and a plot that never even leaves the apartment, much less goes anywhere. Yep, that would definitely make this kinda suck.
Final verdict: Kinda sucks. Wouldn't bother if I were you.

Police Academy (1984)
How many of these did they eventually make? Eight? Ten? Not to mention the TV series and the cartoon (Oh yeah, you thought I forgot about the cartoon didn't you? I even remember the action figures!). So, the first one must have been really funny to kick off a franchise that big. Right? Right?!? Yeah, not so much. The first half of the movie has barely any laughs in it, and those are almost all from Michael Winslow (the sound effects guy). Near the end you get a couple more and the big ones (Remember the commandant's speech and the surprise waiting in the podium?) are still pretty damn funny. But overall it's hard to see how this is a comedy classic.
Final verdict: If you're really in the mood for some comedy and can't find anything else except for Dane Cook stand-up, this is worth watching.

The Beastmaster (1982)
I went into this with fuzzy memories at best. There was a panther (I thought) and some ferrets. And a guy in a loincloth who could talk to them. That was about all I remembered. Having rewatched it, I can see why. More than any other movie on this list Beastmaster will have you thinking to yourself, "What were they thinking?" over and over. Rip Torn as the evil necromancer? A hero named Dar? Who immediately strips to his loincloth after seeing his family killed and runs off to avenge them? And then nearly rapes the first woman he lays eyes on? And can talk to any animal but chooses to limit it to just four? Including TWO ferrets? And a tiger (poorly) painted black to look like a panther? What were they thinking?
Final verdict: Yech. About the only thing this movie is good for is being made fun of. Although there's a danger you might die of exhaustion by doing so, since there are almost too many opportunities for that. Steer clear unless you're a group of serious Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans.