Alien vs. Predator

I may write something about the election this weekend, but frankly right now I don't want to deal with it. If the majority of Americans are actually stupid enough to want someone who has concretely proven that they are bad for everyone and everything to be president then whatever. Good for them. I'm gainfully employed on the other side of the world suckers.

The rest of this post is basically a movie review so if you're not interested stop now or at least don't hold it against me if you feel like it was a waste of your time.

Anyhow, on a lighter note, I watched Alien vs. Predator tonight and I actually really liked it. Now I have to validate that statement since the movie is obviously a piece of crap. See, I not only wanted to watch this movie, but I had really been looking forward to it for a while. I've always been a fan of both series of movies. Alien is probably the best combination of horror and sci-fi ever. Aliens is definitely one of the best action flicks of all time. Never cared much for Alien 3 but I've been told repeatedly to see it again. And although many might disagree, I thought Alien: Resurrection was pretty cool. I mean, come on! It was made by the guy who did Amelie! The Predator movies were considerably lighter on plot but still cool. The first one featured Arnold back when he was still cool and the second had Danny Glover when he wasn't too old for this s**t. So yeah, I really liked the movies. Throw on top of all that the excellent comic book Alien vs. Predator which Dark Horse Comics put out back when both franchises were still relatively popular and of course I wanted to see this movie.

Now, like I said, the comic book was excellent. It not only took care to maintain the mythology created in the films, but actually built upon it in order to make the creatures more interesting. But as we all know, a great comic being made into a movie usually means a terrible movie. And sometimes a terrible comic book can make some pretty cool movies. So, I figured they would screw this up and do something just awful.

Well, they screwed it up of course, but the movie was still great fun. Obviously whoever wrote the screenplay had read the comic books, and then decided to chuck that script right out. They kept some basic elements but that's all in. In the comics, the whole thing takes place on an alien world around a farming community of humans far, far from Earth. This gives a thorough sense of isolation and a bit of wonder. In the movie, they must not have wanted to mess with making the audience figure anything out or making some kind of alien set. Probably for the best, since they would have almost certainly used tons of CGI which would have looked horrible. So instead, this time it all happens in Antarctica. Cheap sets! Just lots of snow!

Okay, so here's what I thought. You want plot? Forget it. Whatever plot there is is pretty darn weak and occasionally nonsense (How did a dozen people birth a hundred aliens?). For the most part it can all be summed up by the title. Not entirely since the title is Alien vs. Predator, with both words being singular. In fact, there are several Predators and bunches of Aliens. Hope I didn't ruin the surprise. You want acting? Ha ha ha ha ah aha ha! Whew. That's a good one. However, if you'd like to see some decent action wherein a whole bunch of Aliens fight a few Predators then this is the film for you! Somehow the Predators are bigger now than when we've seen them. And somehow the Aliens prove to be a much tougher adversary for the Predators than one might expect (especially compared to the comics, but who read those things?). But you still get some butt kicking and if that's not the only reason you're watching this then you have some sort of problem.
And besides, Lance Henriksen is in it. And he was one of the best things about Aliens so it was pretty neat that they got him in there.

So, there. I liked the stupid thing. Even though the guy sitting in front of whoever filmed it in the theater with a camcorder was a bit too tall and I could see the silhouette of the top of his head the whole time. The nerve of that guy. Didn't he know that this thing was going to be spread all over the internet? Sheesh.

2.5 stars out of 4
Fans of the series (which probably includes every guy of my generation) should watch it. Acid blood! ACID BLOOD!!!

Next time I may review the book I just finished, The Once and Future King by T. H. White. See, I can be intellectual too.